Geun-Hong Kim
Professor Jon Bahk-Halberg
Introduction to Academic Writing (1)
May 2, 2012
My Favorite Relative
My favorite relative is my grandmother. She has dementia. Therefore, she acts like a child and hardly can recognize family members. When I was a child, I didn't like my grandmother. During her visit to my house, she didn't say a lot of things and I had to tell her who I was over and over again because she couldn't remember me. I had to help her eat and go to bed. And until she fell asleep, she insisted that I hold her hands. Then one day she went back her home, I gave my cardigan to her because it was freezing outside. I forgot my cardigan and after a few years, when I visited her, I saw my cardigan which was hung finely in the closet. I realized she cared about me even if she couldn't remember my name, and realized how foolish I was. Now, I like her more than any relative. She lives in Andong which is really far from Seoul so I can't visit her often. However, when I visit her, she holds my hands and keeps saying welcome, welcome. And even though she can't cook, she wants to make some food and feed me. I'm planning to go meet her during summer vacation.
I could feel the love your grandmther has for you just by reading your writing. I like the flow of your sentences and the content. If I could make a suggestion, it would have been better if you added more details on the relationship you and grandmother now have. Additionally, you need to elaborate more on why she is your favorite relative.
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