Changwon; the Best City to Live In
201001006 DIS
Hyejin Kim
I believe that Changwon is a very good place to live in. In fact, I was born in Changwon and had lived 20 years in the city. Also, my family is still living in there. So, I really know well the benefits to live in Changwon. First of all, Changwon is a planned city. There is no traffic jam and industrial zone and residential area are clearly divided. Various discount stores, department stores, theaters, restaurants and concert halls are close together. This means once you go out, you can get to almost every cultural facility and enjoy your free time conveniently. Second, there are many beautiful parks, even though Changwon is very big city. As I mentioned earlier, Changwon is well-organized city. If you stay in residential area, you would find a lot of parks such as park with all kinds of rose, park with a lake, and park for exercising. You will be able to enjoy picnic with family and friends and take a fresh air in the heart of downtown. Finally, Changwon won the second prize at the International Awards for Liveable communities 2010 which is a contest that selects the best city to live in by UNEP (the United Nations Environment Program). Therefore, I think Changwon is the best city to live in.
I'm not quite sure what it means by Changwon being a "planned city". I think if you worded this in another way, it would help readers understand your point better. The way you described Changwon as an "organized city" in a sentence later on, which I think was supposed to mean the same as "planned city", confused me a little bit.
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