201100014 Kang Dong Hoon
TV: Could you live without it?
As time goes by, TV is losing its influence. We don't need TV anymore. Unlike the past, it's not hard to imagine a life without a TV. These day people are getting busier. They don't have much time to sit on the couch watching a broadcast. And people enjoy private time and have a particular preference much more than yesterday. For this reason many smart appliances are replacing the function of TV. TVs are fixed in a certain place, but smart appliances such as smartphone are portable. These appliances provide DMB (Digital Multimedia Broadcasting) so there is no limit of place. Also we can download a broadcast that we missed on the internet. So using smart appliances and internet, we can watch our favorite broadcast anytime anywhere. Moreover there will be no fight for the channel because we've got our own 'TV'. Therefore we can enjoy our favorite drama alone. Of course TV provides more vivid picture and it's much easier to watch for its size of monitor. But I think that's not the conventional function of TV and that is a matter of one's taste. So TV is not necessary for us. We can live without it.
I'm surprised that you have almost same opinion and perspective on necessity of TV. Your writing's flow is very natural and easy to understand. Besides, the supporting sentences are really logical. But, you can get rid of 'and' , third line before 'people', I think.
ReplyDeleteI think you wrote your topic sentences and supporting sentences very clearly. There is a sentence I like. It is 'there will be no fight for the channel.' I think most of people who have TV in their house would propbably exprience the same thing at least once. I like it because I think it is creative.
ReplyDelete201100014 Kang Dong Hoon
ReplyDeleteTV: Could you live without it? (Second Draft)
As time goes by, TV is losing its influence. We don't need TV anymore. Unlike the past, it's not hard to imagine a life without a TV. These day people are getting busier. They don't have much time to sit on the couch watching a broadcast. People enjoy private time and have a particular preference much more than yesterday. For this reason many smart appliances are replacing the function of TV. TVs are fixed in a certain place, but smart appliances such as smartphone are portable. These appliances can provide DMB (Digital Multimedia Broadcasting) so there is no limit of place. Also we can download a broadcast that we missed on the internet. So using smart appliances and internet, we can watch our favorite broadcast anytime anywhere. Moreover there will be no fight for the channel because we've got our own 'TV'. Therefore we can enjoy our favorite drama alone. Of course TV provides more vivid picture and it's much easier to watch for its size of monitor. But I think that is a matter of one's taste. So TV is not necessary for us. We can live without it.