My Favorite Room In My House
-The Absolute Stability Room-
200903390 HyunCheol CHO
In my house, there are kitchen, living room, two bath room, and four rooms. Among these four rooms, one is my parent's room, another is my older brother's room, a third is my room, and the last is multipurpose room for common use.
There are few spaces that I might like. In the kitchen, I have nothing to do. Kitchen is space for women and people who like cooking. In the living room, my privacy isn't guaranteed. Living room is always crowded with my family. In the bath room... it is needless to say that I don't like this space. In the my room, I'm pressed to do study hard. I hate study. But only one room utilized for multiple purpose give me happiness, enjoyment and comfort. I name this room 'absolute stability room'
'The absolute stability room' actually give me stability. There are computer, computer desk, book shelf, easy chair and small TV in this room. You might be surprised at shabby composition of this room. But it is enough for me. I can do any behavior that I like in this room. When I want to play computer game and surf the internet, I can use computer and when I want to read a book, I can read favorite book sitting on easy chair in peace and when I want to watch the TV program which my family don't like, I can watch this program through small TV. And I can even have a restful nap in this room because there is warm, soft and silky blanket in this room.
So, my favorite room is this 'absolute stability room'.
You described well about your room using adjectives. I can see that your favorite room is multipurpose room by looking at the word' absolute stability room' i can see how you emphasize the room that makes you absolutely stable. I like the part where you wrote your privacy is not guaranteed in the living room. Because it is true, other family member might listen to you when you are on the phone. I hope you to change one thing, the sentence where you wrote kitchen is for woman. You could just write kitchen is for people who cook or like to cook. I also like that you wrote about other rooms in comparison to emphasize the absolute stability room, but i think they are too much.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked about this piece of writing is that you listed the reason why you like your favorite room in detail. Also I liked you gave name to your favorite room. But your writing could improve if you changed some parts. First the introduction is too long. The topic appears too late. You could mention the topic first and explain why other rooms don't interest you. Also the sentence where you are explaining the reason is too long. It should be divided into some sentences. And I think you didn't have to make another paragraph to write just one concluding sentence. Overall your writing was fun to read and special in a kind of way because you wrote why other rooms aren't your favorite.
ReplyDeleteSecond draft
ReplyDeleteIn my house, there are kitchen, living room, two bath room, and four rooms. Among these four rooms, one is my parent's room, another is my older brother's room, a third is my room, and the last is multipurpose room for common use.
Among these many rooms, I do love the last one, multipurpose room. Because there are few spaces that I might like except multipurpose room.. In the kitchen, I have nothing to do. Kitchen is space for people who like cooking. In the living room, my privacy isn't guaranteed. Living room is always crowded with my family. In the bath room... it is needless to say that I don't like this space. In the my room, I'm pressed to do study hard. I hate study. But only one room utilized for multiple purpose give me happiness, enjoyment and comfort. I name this room 'absolute stability room'
'The absolute stability room' actually give me stability. There are computer, computer desk, book shelf, easy chair and small TV in this room. You might be surprised at shabby composition of this room. But it is enough for me. I can do any behavior that I like in this room. When I want to play computer game and surf the internet, I can use computer and when I want to read a book, I can read favorite book sitting on easy chair in peace and when I want to watch the TV program which my family don't like, I can watch this program through small TV. And I can even have a restful nap in this room because there is warm, soft and silky blanket in this room. So, my favorite room is this 'absolute stability room'.