Strong ability to stay calm
200900368
Miyeon Kim
When I was kid, I was said to be mature for my age due to my presence of mind. For example, I keep my head in an emergency. When I was 18, a fire broke out at my school dormitory. The only living space got engulfed and many items we had owned were burned. For shock, most of my friends were glassy-eyed and wept uncontrollably. But I didn't. Instead of that, I just thought what I could do to manage the situation. I checked first the place to sleep that night with my friends and called my mom to inform my situation. About four months later, the uproar was totally settled down.
Also, I remained calm while I feel sad. About one month ago, I prepared my maternal grandfather's funeral. I was really astonished and sad when I heard the news of his death at six a.m. in Seoul. But I started to pack up for returning home soon. I received guests who visited the mortuary of my grandfather's for three days and led the funeral procession carrying his picture. My parents said all procedures were well ended with the help of me. It was not easy for me to stay calm either. However, I was learned to keep my composure from my parents and I knew that is faster way to deal with the situation. I am proud to have that ability and I believe that it was really helpful to address many things which happened in my life.
You are very calm and also brave. Not everybody can calm down and manage the emergency situation.
ReplyDeleteI think your writing is very good. One thing I would like to tell you is that the topic sentence is missing. I think what you wrote is the supporting examples. It would be better if you write the topic sentence on the top.
I think your writing is really well-organized, because the two main point has its proper supporting example. But I found it difficult to understand some sentences at first time, for instance the introduction sentences which mean first and second sentenes. I cannot catch the true meaning until I read the first paragraph. However I absolutely feel you're very calm and cool-headed reading this writing :)
ReplyDeleteStrong ability to stay calm
ReplyDelete200900368
Miyeon Kim
I think that I have a strong ability to stay calm. When I was a kid, I was said to be mature for my age due to my calmness. I would remain calm even when other people are disconcerted. For example, I kept my head in an emergency. When I was 18, a fire broke out at my school dormitory. The only living space, the dormitory for girls, got engulfed and many items we had owned were burned. For shock, most of my friends were glassy-eyed and wept uncontrollably. But I didn't. Of course I was hit, but I started to think about what I could do to manage the situation. I checked first the place to sleep that night with my friends and called my mom to inform my situation. About four months later, the uproar was totally settled down.
Also, I remained calm while I feel sad. About one month ago, I prepared my maternal grandfather's funeral. I was really astonished to hear of his death and felt greatly sad. But I started to pack up for returning home soon. I received guests who visited the mortuary of my grandfather's for three days and led the funeral procession carrying his picture. My parents said all procedures were well ended with the help of me. It was not easy for me to stay calm either. However, I was learned to keep my composure from my parents and I knew that is faster way to deal with the situation. I am proud to have that ability and I believe that it was really helpful to address many things which happened in my life.