Hyung-Il Kim/playground in my high school/Wed 11a.m.
When I was in the high school, I played soccer almost every weekdays and spend many time in there so I'll describe about that place.
It shaped like big rectangle and covered with dark brown colored soil and ivory colored soil. If you fall on the ground you would feel rough and hurt because it's surface is soft soil but the under of the surface is stick and watered soil. Many students who play soccer or basketball usually fall on the ground bleed and feel rough and hurt. And when you stand or walk around there, you would feel smell of the soil and dust because many student always play in that playground so when they run, they make a lot of dust. You would feel sweaty smell too because of many students who are running in there and becoming sweaty. Also there is always noisy because many students are playing sports. Ground is full of students and sometimes it's hard to heard the voice of nearby friends because many of them are shouting and their feet make noise. And the side part of the ground, there are some simple fitness equipment and benches for some relax.
I liked the way you wrote your essay by following the journey. Also your description about Seondol was so detailed that I could easily draw in my head. I want to visit there someday. But I thought the introduction was a bit long. If you focused more about the description, it could be much better.
ReplyDeleteSorry please ignore the reply above,My Mistake!
ReplyDeleteYou described about your high school playground well. The smell, the touch, the hearing and up to the sight, it was really detailed. What I didn't like is the first sentence. I think you don't have to say 'what I am going to write is-' thing. You have to introduce about your topic naturally not bluntly. Also if you added a concluding sentence it could be much better
Hyung-Il Kim/playground in my high school/Wed 11a.m.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in the high school, I played soccer almost every weekdays and spend many time in the playground. Also when I didn't play soccer, I usually walk around with friends after dinner. The shape of the playground is similar with big rectangle and covered with dark brown colored soil and the above, ivory colored soil. If you fall on the ground you would feel rough and hurt because it's surface is soft soil but the under of the surface is stick and watered soil. Many students who play soccer or basketball usually fall on the ground bleed and feel rough and hurt. The school infirmary exists near by the ground so I sometime went to there too. And when you stand or walk around there, you would feel smell of the soil and dust because many student always play in that playground so when they run, they make a lot of dust. You would feel sweaty smell too because of many students who are running in there and becoming sweaty. Also there is always noisy because many students are playing sports. Ground is full of students and sometimes it's hard to heard the voice of nearby friends because many of them are shouting and their feet make noise. And the side part of the ground, there are some simple fitness equipment and benches for some relax. I spend a lot of time in the ground so I feel many funny and pleasant memoris with there.